ACC Football Programs Compared to Halloween Treats in Local Column
A Pittsburgh student publication draws parallels between major conference teams and common candies, linking team performance to sugar content.
By Anthony Brooks ·
A student newspaper in Pittsburgh published a column on Wednesday that compares Atlantic Coast Conference football teams to popular Halloween treats. The piece uses the upcoming holiday to rank teams based on their recent performance and historical standing.
Miami is compared to a Snickers bar. The article notes that Snickers was the top-selling candy bar in 2025. The Canes were the best ACC team last year, finishing 10-2 in regular season play and reaching the National Championship game. They lost that game to Indiana. This season, Miami is 7-0 and ranked No. 1.
Virginia Tech is likened to a jawbreaker, a hard candy that requires effort to eat. The Hokies lead the ACC in sacks with 26. That total is five more than second-place SMU and Miami. Virginia Tech also leads in forced fumbles with 10. They average 1.25 forced fumbles per game. That figure is 0.39 higher than second-place Boston College and NC State.
Pittsburgh is compared to a Hershey bar due to shared history in Pennsylvania. The Panthers started playing football in 1889. Hershey began its business in 1894. Both entities are located in the Keystone State, about 215 miles apart. Pitt has won nine national championships.
Stanford is described as an apple handed out to trick-or-treaters. The article calls this a rule-breaking move. It notes that Stanford is a California school located roughly 3,000 miles from the Atlantic coast. The column suggests the school does not belong in a conference named for that region.
Clemson is compared to Smarties because of head coach Dabo Swinney. Swinney has been at the program for 19 years. Under his leadership, the Tigers are 191-56. They have won two national championships and have a 9-1 record in ACC Championship games. Swinney earns about $11.45 million per year. He is the fourth highest-paid coach in the ACC.
UNC is compared to Sour Patch Kids. The Tar Heels are the youngest team in the ACC with an average age of 19.96. They are 4-3 overall and 2-2 in conference play. Florida State is compared to black licorice. The Seminoles went 2-10 in 2024 and 5-7 in 2025. They are currently 3-4. The column states they will likely miss a bowl game for the third straight year.
